It's Time To Talk About Your Health....

Long time no post! I'll spare you the apologies and excuses, and jump right into what I want to talk about.....health!

I recently found a SD memory card from a camera I had about two years ago. I grabbed it and made a mad dash to the laptop to see what "ancient" jewels it held. It popped up with 535 pictures, I clicked download, and within a matter of seconds I was skimming through photos I had completely forgotten I had taken. Then, I made it to the section I had subconsciously tried to forget. The 2008 Marine Corps Ball. The dress I had chosen, within 20 minutes in the store, was NOT flattering at all. It was not only the dress that brought me to pure horror, but my weight. I hadn't realized until that point how heavy I was. Not an "O my gosh Becky, I can't believe I ate that extra cracker at lunch, 20 minutes extra cardio for me tonight!" but the "how did my family and friends not have an intervention to stop me from destroying myself" heavy. As much as I wanted to close out of the program, I continued on, jumping from picture to picture, looking bigger and unhealthier in each as they progressed.

It was at that moment that I swore to myself to get back on track. Since that time I had dropped about thirty or so pounds. It wasn't just the weight that was my goal, but all over health. I gained muscle so that could account for a few extra pounds. I went off of the way clothes fit way looser and it felt great! I reached a plateau about a month or two ago. I stopped going to the gym like I should have and stopped eating healthy like I used to. I was disappointed in myself. A lot of people try to blame the holidays, but that was not the case. I had given up. Until I saw what I used to look like. Sometimes it takes a kick in the ass to remember what you are fighting for.

So, I have been making it a point to cook home cooked meals each night. It has been working so far.

Now, you will have to excuse the tilapia. I guess I didn't realize how easily it would fall apart after marinading it in a lemon/hot sauce mixture. Either way, grilled tilapia (my own recipe), baked asparagus (biggest loser cook book- this was the first recipe from there I didn't enjoy), and a mixed salad (just lettuce and spinach). All-in-all it was a pretty good dinner.

Anyways, I'm always looking for great new recipes, whether it be for a main course, side, snack, beverage, whatever. So if you ever have anything to share, lay it on me :)

I hope to keep you guys updated on the process. Hopefully I can be an inspiration for some of you that may be wanting to get on the healthy path too. Maybe some of you can be MY inspiration?

The Meaning of Life

It seems as though we are always searching for the meaning of life. Meanwhile, right under our noses, life is happening and we are missing out!

So where am I going with this? As of today, I'm done searching for the meaning of life and I'm just going to START LIVING. That's right. No more wondering why something has happened. No more constant "what if"'s. No more feeling sorry for myself for the people and things I have lost, or never had. No more making excuses. People always say "I'll get to it tomorrow" but what they don't realize is that today is yesterday's tomorrow.

I'm in the process of revamping my list and I'll repost it shortly :) I hope ya'll will follow me on my journey and hopefully I can inspire some of you to do the same :)

HO-HO-HOME for the Holidays

..well okay maybe not all the holidays, but at least for Christmas. We were able to make it back home to visit for Christmas and all I can say is...wow! I am EXHAUSTED. I didn't get to spend nearly enough time with people, some people I didn't get to see at all. We missed lots and lots of snow here in Texas, but it was okay because when we came back we were welcomed back by large amounts of the remains. I also hear tomorrow we are in luck for more! I am EXCITED!

Anywho! I was asked by quite a few people how much weight I had lost. I felt like there was a difference and, of course, my pants falling down were a giveaway, but I didn't realize other people could actually see a difference. It was quite a surprise when I hoped on the scale at the gym, set it on a super high weight, which I thought would be close to my weight and had to keep going lower...and lower..and lower!! Then of course after my shock, I had to get hubby to do it for me, at which time it read the same as my original reading.

It seems like my efforts are finally paying off! I am getting into a healthy routine which effects my lifestyle in the long run and sticking with it. I couldn't be happier!

An Endless Battle

I have always had weight issues...if it wasn't one extreme it was the other. I was a little chubby growing up and it seemed like the second I entered high school I had shot up in height and thinned out in width. One of my good friends at the time used to give me a hard time always asking if I had an eating disorder. It used to piss me off because I couldn't understand why she would even think that. Going into college I was still pretty thin, but over the years I added weight on slowly but surely. And now, as if by overnight, I realize how much I have put on by comparing pictures. I also realized that I did have an eating disorder in high school and just didn't realize it. I wouldn't eat unless I was hungry, which would leave me going without food sometimes for days. When I was hungry I would binge (never throwing up mind you!) then go another day or two or three without eating again simply because I wasn't hungry. Well, you may think it worked since I managed to stay skinny that whole time, but obviously not. I set myself up for a lifetime of bad eating habits.

Anyways, I feel like I am at the end of my struggle. I feel as though I have hit rock bottom. Most people would look at me and think I am just a little thick, which they are probably right. But when I look at myself in pictures or in the mirror I get sick to my stomach. The person I am looking at is not me, but myself in a fat suit. It is so utterly disturbing. Anyways, I have been making some drastic lifestyle changes and I am hoping they produce an end result that I am happy with and that I can continue with the rest of my life. I'll make sure to keep you guys posted on this front.