That is about the only word that can sum up the feeling I have toward myself. I swore that when I moved back to New Orleans, I would keep up with the healthy lifestyle, diet, cooking, exercise, etc. I have been back since June and I've done a piss poor job of all of the above. I probably would have went a little while longer before noticing had it not been for Christmas. Christmas is the time of year when everyone gets together to shove their faces, my family is no different. In between amazing lunches and dinners I noticed my weight gain. All of my clothes that used to be loose on me are now tight and looking like they would explode within any second. I could not be more disappointed and disgusted with myself. I worked so hard to drop the weight that I did and had such a clear goal in mind of how much more I wanted to lose. At some point it stopped being about a number and started being about becoming healthy for myself, no one else's opinion mattered to me anymore. Now, I have blown all of that away within less than a year.
I'm forcing myself to get back on track. I'm trying a little more radical methods than before to get the ball rolling again and hopefully after the pounds start coming off again, I'll be able to stick with it. I'll make sure to keep you guys posted on any good recipes I find, fun outings or cool new exercises I may discover.