Time to move on...

I can honestly say, the past two years or so of my life have been a complete roller coaster. All beginning with one of my best friends (even though we didn't know each other long at all) moving across the world to the two or so month battle I struggled right along beside my papa with. If you would have asked me three years ago where I would be, I definitely would not have guessed anywhere near this point in my life.

Some of you are probably wondering, is that good or bad? To me, it is very bad. I feel like I have wasted a lot of my youth. Don't get me wrong, I grew up TOO quick a long time ago. But, I think it is finally taking a toll on me. I thought at this point I'd be finished school and have a REAL job. I have never been so disappointment in myself as I am now.

So, that being said, I am going through a complicated and very stressful time period. I am contemplating on big changes and steps that I may or may not be taking. I hope everyone will be patient and understand the decisions I make, even if they might not be the best for them. For once, & I hate, hate, hate to say this, I have to look out for me. I let myself go a long time ago. I put my life, my feelings, my health, my thoughts, my mind, everything to the side to put everything else first, it's time to find me again. I've been lost too long & I think if I go much longer, I'll never be found.


Memorial Day...

Because someone has to make sure the memory of this man and his heroic action lives on....

((taken straight from http://www.navy.mil/moh/Monsoor/SOA.html ))

Summary of ActionPetty Officer Second Class (SEAL) Michael A. MonsoorFor actions on Sept. 29, 2006

Petty Officer Michael A. Monsoor, United States Navy, distinguished himself through conspicuous gallantry and intrepidity at the risk of his life above and beyond the call of duty as a Combat Advisor and Automatic Weapons Gunner for Naval Special Warfare Task Group Arabian Peninsula in support of Operation Iraqi Freedom on 29 September 2006. He displayed great personal courage and exceptional bravery while conducting operations in enemy held territory at Ar Ramadi Iraq.

During Operation Kentucky Jumper, a combined Coalition battalion clearance and isolation operation in southern Ar Ramadi, he served as automatic weapons gunner in a combined SEAL and Iraqi Army (IA) sniper overwatch element positioned on a residential rooftop in a violent sector and historical stronghold for insurgents. In the morning, his team observed four enemy fighters armed with AK-47s reconnoitering from roads in the sector to conduct follow-on attacks. SEAL snipers from his roof engaged two of them which resulted in one enemy wounded in action and one enemy killed in action. A mutually supporting SEAL/IA position also killed an enemy fighter during the morning hours. After the engagements, the local populace blocked off the roads in the area with rocks to keep civilians away and to warn insurgents of the presence of his Coalition sniper element. Additionally, a nearby mosque called insurgents to arms to fight Coalition Forces.

In the early afternoon, enemy fighters attacked his position with automatic weapons fire from a moving vehicle. The SEALs fired back and stood their ground. Shortly thereafter, an enemy fighter shot a rocket-propelled grenade at his building. Though well-acquainted with enemy tactics in Ar Ramadi, and keenly aware that the enemy would continue to attack, the SEALs remained on the battlefield in order to carry out the mission of guarding the western flank of the main effort.

Due to expected enemy action, the officer in charge repositioned him with his automatic heavy machine gun in the direction of the enemy’s most likely avenue of approach. He placed him in a small, confined sniper hide-sight between two SEAL snipers on an outcropping of the roof, which allowed the three SEALs maximum coverage of the area. He was located closest to the egress route out of the sniper hide-sight watching for enemy activity through a tactical periscope over the parapet wall. While vigilantly watching for enemy activity, an enemy fighter hurled a hand grenade onto the roof from an unseen location. The grenade hit him in the chest and bounced onto the deck. He immediately leapt to his feet and yelled “grenade” to alert his teammates of impending danger, but they could not evacuate the sniper hide-sight in time to escape harm. Without hesitation and showing no regard for his own life, he threw himself onto the grenade, smothering it to protect his teammates who were lying in close proximity. The grenade detonated as he came down on top of it, mortally wounding him.

Petty Officer Monsoor’s actions could not have been more selfless or clearly intentional. Of the three SEALs on that rooftop corner, he had the only avenue of escape away from the blast, and if he had so chosen, he could have easily escaped. Instead, Monsoor chose to protect his comrades by the sacrifice of his own life. By his courageous and selfless actions, he saved the lives of his two fellow SEALs and he is the most deserving of the special recognition afforded by awarding the Medal of Honor.

This is all I have to say on this matter....

Hypocrite- noun-

1. a person who pretends to have virtues, moral or religious beliefs, principles, etc., that he or she does not actually possess, esp. a person whose actions belie stated beliefs.

2. a person who feigns some desirable or publicly approved attitude, esp. one whose private life, opinions, or statements belie his or her public statements.


The Carpenter's Pencil


I just realized how odd this unsharpened carpenter's pencil amongst the many other random necessities I have in my purse probably looks to the average person who would take a peek in there.

When I was younger, I attended elementary school down the street from where I lived. I was fortunate enough to live next to my grandparents, so on days mom had to work late or dad was on night shift, there was always a Papa or a Ghea waiting for us after school. Now, before I go on any further, let this be a disclosure- I absolutely love my grandmother to death, it may seem that I favor my papa, but in my defense, I related to him very closely so I never had a problem sharing my feelings or being close with him, we were very much the same person in many ways. That being said....

At the end of each month and each grade period, I would get awarded a pencil for behaving myself in class and getting good grades. Every pencil I earned went straight into my back pack and the next time it saw light was the next time I saw my papa. There was no contemplating on keeping any of them, my papa would cherish them more than I ever could. Each pencil I gave to my papa made his eyes light up. He would lift me to the grandfather clock on the wall, open the door and have me place them in there for safe storage, until it was time that he needed another one for work. Anytime I saw him working in his shed at home he had one of my brightly colored, sparkly pencils behind his ear, whistling away. He used them for odds and ends, I knew this. I was always amazed though, by the strange "square pencil" he would always use with such ease.

Of course, as the years went by and I grew up, I stopped winning pencils. Every now and then I would go to an open house or win some random thing in school and get a pencil & would give them to my papa.

A few days after he died, my mom called me and said, "Courtney wanted the blanket I made for your papa...I hope that's okay, if there is anything you want you need to go soon" By the time I was able to leave from work my grandmother had already thrown a lot of stuff away (a completely different story for a completely different day). I was confident though that she had no clue what I wanted, therefore it was safe. I went straight to the clock, opened it up, and there they were...still a small collection of the shiny, sparkly pencil, worn with age and use, but they were there. It instantly brought me to tears. I had no clue what I was going to do without my main support in my life anymore. I left my pencils there & reached for the sole unsharpened carpenter's pencil that looked odd amongst my pencils.

I've kept it in my purse since that day & don't intend on ever parting with it. Such an odd, random, palpable object brings me comfort on my worst days.

White Horse

Another good one....thanks star!


Just because....

It fits my bum mood that I'm in right now & because I love Taylor Swift.



Used- adjective- employed for a purpose; utilized

use- verb- to take unfair advantage of; exploit


Ahhhh hahahahah

I completely forgot about this commercial. I saw it for the first time about two or three years ago maybe? when watching the super bowl. Now, to some, it's just a cute little commercial. I don't know why, but the mood I was in, sent me into a long laugh that made my eyes tear up. ((I'm pretty sure Robert thought I had lost my mind)) Anyways, enjoy, comment. Feel free to laugh really hard or just think I'm crazy too lol

Finding Jesus..

Well at least, finding him again..

Lately I've realized how much I turned by back on God. Okay, so I admit, I did notice I had turned away from him for a long while now. It was only made worse when my papa passed away last year. I don't know why, but I feel like it's time to turn back. Now, don't worry, I'm not going all crazy holy roller on you guys. I just feel like I've become a different person, a mean, hateful, just yucky person, & I think SOME of that has to do with me turning away from God. This is all being done on my road to become a better person & hopefully get back to the old Devin.

All I can ask is that you pray for me. For those who don't pray, do whatever it is that you do. I feel at this point, my life literally depends on my success.

"O merciful God, fill our hearts, we pray, with the graces of your Holy Spirit; with love, joy, peace, patience, gentleness, goodness, faithfulness, humility and self-control. Teach us to love those who hate us; to pray for those who despitefully use us; that we may be the children of your love, our Father, who makes the sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust. In adversity grant us grace to be patient; in prosperity keep us humble; may we guard the door of our lips; may we lightly esteem the pleasures of this world, and thirst after heavenly things; through Jesus Christ our Lord." (Prayer of Anselm, 1033-1109)


The Path to a healthy lifestyle

So as some of you may know, and others who only know me on blogger, I have had an ongoing battle with my weight pretty much my whole life. I was chubby through grade school & the beginning of high school...I started thinning out and reached my smallest size between my Junior year of high school and my Sophomore year at UNO. Since then, I have let myself go. It's no one's fault but my own. Don't get me wrong, I'm not obese, but I'm just not happy with myself anymore.

So I've decided it's now or never. I'm starting to go back to the gym. I went to the grocery this morning and bought all fresh produce and some interesting diet foods. I figured I'd try out some healthy new recipes and when I get a good one, post in on here for my readers that may be interested.


Also, last but not least, I'm going to start doing the Carmen Electra Strip Tease exercise DVDs. I did them for a little while & man did they work. But I let life get the better of me, started feeling sorry for myself & used everything that was going on in my life as an excuse. But that's not me anymore. So back to Carmen it is!! She produces GREAT results in VERY LITTLE time. & shit, if my body can look like that, why wouldn't I want to do it?!

Anyways, if anyone has any suggestions, tips, hints, whatever, let me know. I'm always open for new ideas!

Rule 5: Holly Madison


I contemplated on whether I would do this or not but after a while I decided, there are a LOT of pretty girls that deserve their props. One of my favorite girls in the lime light, Holly Madison. I just think she is great and has a bubbly personality which is awesome. That's all I have to say :)


Cute New Shoes


Have you ever noticed how a new pair of shoes can brighten your day? Okay, maybe not everyone can get such great pleasure out of such a simple thing, but I can. My day can start off kind of slow and maybe a little....bla....but when I realize that I have a brand new pair of shoes I can wear, the day turns around and starts looking better.

I know this isn't really a post & I promise I'll start posting again, I've just been super busy & have been non-stop for the past week or so. eeeekkk!


Happy Mother's Day!


To all those moms out there, especially the best mom ever, mine, HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY! I hope you all got to relax and be showered with gifts and love. Maybe one day it will be a day I can celebrate, but for now, I'm happy being a Buster Mommy! lol

No updates for a while!


Morning Funny

I don't know why, but Bobby Lee is one of the few people that can make me laugh when I am in a HORRIBLE mood. This is one of my favorite clips even though it's silly..... enjoy

Lucky- Jason Mraz & Colbie Caillat

I can't help but stop and listen every time I hear this song on TV or on the radio. I think both of these singers are so talented and have such beautiful voices. Granted, the song is a bit cheesey, I still like it....