Yankees

I take A LOT of heat for being a Yankees fan. Mainly because I'm a southern girl. But I stand by "my" team for one reason only, my papa. My papa was from up north. He LOVED the Yankees. When I was growing up I'd watch as many games as I could. Granted it might not have been that many since I was the youngest child with no control over the programming we watched. I would be in heaven when I could catch the game and tell my papa the score. I started getting more into it as I got older and I discovered their shortstop, Derek Jeter, wasn't too bad on the eyes.

Exhibit A




grrrrrowl....brown chicken brown cow.


Okay, enough of being a pervert.

Anyways, as the years went on I lost interest. Jeter became more popular, began doing commercial after commercial and suddenly became full of himself. I lost complete and total interest in the Yankees. It didn't stop my papa from asking how they were every now and then. I should have followed them still just to humor him, but I couldn't seem to find time.

Now every time I catch them on TV I stop and watch them for a while. Not because they are my favorite team anymore, but because they were my papa's. When they make a good play or win (which hasn't been much since they are at 10-10 right now I believe) I chuckle a little and mimic my papa's all famous "how about them Yankees?!

My Buster Bear

As many of you know, I am obsessed. I do not deny that I have an obsession with my dog. Some might say I treat him as my child. To be honest, I am completely okay with people saying that. I raised him from when he was a puppy. He used to sprinkle all over and tear everything in his sight to shreds. Robert gave up on him after having him for a few weeks. He wanted to get rid of him several times. I was about at my wits end the day I came home to him in our bedroom, floor covered in feathers that he had plucked one by one from my feather duster. He sat in the middle of it all, anxiously wagging his tail, anticipating my reaction. It is strange to think back to that time. He has made such a total transformation, it is unbelievable at time. He never has accidents in the house, never tears things up, sits, shakes, speaks, is a perfect guard dog, walks next to me on our daily walks, listens, understands when you tell him to go find a specific person, is gentle with Amelia, even to grab a treat out of her hand ever so gently...it is just amazing.

Anyways, he has been acting a little strange lately, and I am finding myself worrying probably more than a normal person would. But, then again, he is my "kid" so I guess it is okay to worry.

My Tuesday Roller Coaster

Tuesday, yes, as in yesterday, was a bit of a roller coaster day for me. I got some terrific news that my friend, Aimie, also Amelia's mom, was expecting her second child. I was overwhelmed with happiness for her and Bryan. It made me a bit sad though. Robert and I originally thought we would have kids by now. Yes, I am only 23 and he is about to turn 24, but it was something we had "all figured out." Then life happened. I'll spare everyone the boring details, but in the past 6 years of us being together, we have been actually together, physically, for only about two of those years. No complaining here though, all it gets me is the usual "well, you knew what you were getting into when you married into the military." Like it is a punishment. I'll take full responsibility, I was very well aware of what I was getting myself into.

So, okay, no more rambling. As if that GREAT news didn't turn my heart to mush, I got more news, this time though, the bad kind. I really don't think I can handle telling everyone right now. Mainly because when I do, it will become all to real, and I'm really not ready for that right now. So, if I start acting weird, okay weirder than normal people, just bear with me!

& with that crazy enigma I leave you with this....

The List

I began a list when I was in high school after seeing "A Walk to Remember" (God, do I LOVE that movie!). Anyways, I made a list of everything I wanted to do before I died. The list contained some small things, random things, all the way up to large things. I kept this list with me where ever I went. When we evacuated for Hurricane Katrina, it came along for the ride. Somehow, in a horrible, horrible mishap, I left the list in the apartment in Marietta, Georgia. Upon leaving the apartment, I suddenly realized I had left it. My heart began to race and I had Robert call Henry to see if he could grab it before he left (Henry shared our apartment and wasn't scheduled to leave until a few weeks after us). The phone call was made and to my horror, my list evidently thrown away. I shed a few tears for the list I had worked so long and hard on, both adding things and scratching things off as I went on with my life. I got over it. A year or two later I had completely forgotten about it. That was, until I began thinking about death so much. I'm not trying to be morbid at all. It is a fact of life, we all die. So I thought to myself, maybe I should start another list? & what better place to keep this list than on here, where it CAN'T be lost or thrown away! So....for your reading enjoyment...here is my list! Feel free to make suggestions, I like to do fun things, exciting, scary, crazy...whatever!!

1. Go to New York

2. Go to a Yankees game

3. Shop in Paris

4. Learn how to drift

5. Go bungee jumping

6. Go on a sail boat

7. Go canoeing

8. Go on an actual hike

9. Go on an actual camping trip (more than a day long)

10. Get my tattoo that I've wanted for my papa

11. Spend a full day watching back to back movies

12. Try Indian cuisine

13. Go a day with absolutely no electronics (cell, computer, tv, etc.)

14. Spend the weekend being a tourist in New Orleans

15. Go on a carriage ride

16. Ride a horse

17. Go to a horse race

18. Do a beauty pageant (the other one doesn't count since I wasn't being serious)

19. Finish college

20. Have a successful career

21. Become someone you wouldn't want to be without

22. Have kids and be a good mom to them

23. Become a great wife

24. Go to Niagra Falls

25. Ride on a train

26. Take the subway

27. Go to a musical

28. Go to an opera

29. Take a real vacation for a week, no cell phones, no worries

There are more that I am still thinking up and will update as I go along.

Proper grieving period?

So, as my old followers know, my papa passed away a little over a year ago. I still have nightmares about the first trip to the hospital, as well as the horrifying months thereafter. I still hear his whistles, I still hear him building stuff in his shed. I still hear the "hey devy!" or "HEY LIZZY!" when I pull up at his house.

I've had few words of comfort throughout this whole situation. I've had people tell me the typical bull shit of "he's in a better place" or "it was his time." Each time I heard these over used statements I cringed. He isn't in a better place. The best place for him was here. It was certainly not his time. People get written off these days after they hit 60 or so. They are old and dead already. I don't understand it.

So, anyways, after a year or so I began wondering if this feeling is ever going to go away. What is the proper grieving period anyway? When exactly does this pain go away?

So I googled....yes, I googled! and the first thing that pulled up..... "The period of grieving depends upon the situation and varies greatly from person to person." Wow, so simple and so true. You see, maybe to some, the pain I feel and the sadness and loneliness I have would not be normal. I was very close to my papa. We were raised by my grandparents as well as my parents. We were fortunate enough to live next to them. There were so many times where I got in trouble growing up (prime example- getting caught on bourbon street my sophomore year and no one would speak to me, my papa didn't give up on me, he knew I wasn't a bad kid). There was also the car accident that left me trapped in my parent's house my whole senior summer. He was there when few people were.

Anyways, I'm just rambling now. The point is, maybe there is no such thing as a "grieving period." Maybe your grieving never ends. Maybe some feel more than others. Maybe some feel too much.

Either way, I've been thinking about him more and more lately.......

Last for the night

I am hoping people will find me again on this thing. I deleted all my old posts from the past two or so years. I disappeared off of here for a while. I think I am finally back and ready to blog again thanks to a little inspiration from a few people.

Anyways, I haven't really posted anything of import yet, but be patient with me!! I'll be back to my old blogging self again!!

Obama owns your interwebs

The first part made me laugh pretty hard. Granted I didn't have to pay THAT much in taxes, but it's good to know (or maybe not so good?) that there are other people out there just as pissed off as I am about paying taxes, while others do.....well...nothing!

Enjoy!!

When is enough well.... enough??

At what point and time is enough allowed to be enough? Countless unanswered emails, texts, calls, etc. Just when you are at the point of giving up, a response. A burst of excitement, only killed by the realization that only your services are needed, not that you have a friend. What can you do at that point? Just ignore them as they have obviously ignored you? Respond and "be there" for them? My heart outweighs my brain every time. When it's all said and done, I'm always there, even in situations where I shouldn't be.

At what point is it okay for you to give up without being a horrible person?