Why Knock?

I am JUST now becoming used to the fact that a closed door doesn't necessarily mean something bad or inappropriate is happening. In most REAL places of business, a closed door simply means there is either something confidential being discussed OR that person is being considerate of the people around them if they are doing something loud.

I have worked a few different places and this is the first place I've been where a closed door doesn't bother me. One place I worked, the married man used to close his door when his many different girlfriend would call. No one else minded but I still had to hear his conversations through paper thin walls (::vomits::). Another place there was only one person that would close doors, and it was always a slam followed by yelling/ranting about an employee in the office. Once again, I was left in the situation of hearing everything simply because people thought "the door is closed I can do/say whatever I want." The worst, and my LEAST favorite, was a boss that would close his door simply to grope any female that was unfortunate enough to walk in there. I would still throw up a little in my mouth when I saw a closed door, after hearing multiple stories from multiple females about their little "quickies." Down to flat out having sex on the desk. The bad part is, he was, plain and simple, the biggest dog anyone would ever meet in their life. I can guarantee that.

Anyways, the whole point of this blog is, for the longest time I always associated a closed door in a business with something inappropriate happening. Today I realized, I've finally shaken that feeling. I can walk past a closed door and not wonder what is going on, probably just a meeting or a confidential conversation with a client, nothing more, nothing less.

It feels great to be in a positive environment! It feels even more great not having to worry about making sure every inch of my skin is covered up as to avoid staring or inappropriate comments from my boss. I LOVE this place!

So break me down if it makes you feel right...

Freaky Morning

So, little bit of a scary/creepy blog for the morning.

Robert wakes up every morning around 5 a.m. to get ready for the day, eat and head to the gym before work. Every morning he kisses me before he leaves & I get up to check the doors. It is something I have accustomed myself to doing after that whole stalking incident long ago. This morning was no different than any other morning. I woke up, went to the back door double checked both the regular lock then the dead bolt (almost in OCD fashion, having to check twice to assure my first check), then to the front to check it was closed and locked. I can't ever drift back off to sleep for my extra hour unless I know for certain the house is nice and secure. Now that I was certain it was, I hopped back and bed and drifted off for about an hour. I woke up to my alarm clock, jumped out of bed and went to the back door to put Buster out as I did every morning after I woke up (he doesn't have to use the bathroom at this time, just likes to chase the neighborhood birds and cats that may be in "his" backyard). As I rounded the hallway corner, I noticed the back door standing wide open.

Buster didn't seem to mind and ran straight out. I stopped for a second then acted casual and headed to the bedroom. If someone were in the house, I didn't want them to see me panic. I walked calmly to my side of the bed where the handgun stays at night (I trust myself with the handgun only, the shotgun is a bit to much for me). I grabbed it, took the safety off and mentally prepared myself to check the house. I rounded the corner, called Buster inside and had him head up the stairs to the second story of our house. I figured, better him first, at least he could pick up a scent or something. He acted normal, not picking anything unusual up I suppose. I went up, cleared the top floor, calmed down a little, headed downstairs and cleared the bottom. Checked all windows and doors.

What the heck is going on? Robert's calm reasoning when I called him in a panic, "you must have been tired when you checked and the door wasn't closed all the way when you locked it." I told him "okay, if we want to make excuses so I won't be freaked out, I will go along with that." I guess he doesn't realize the extent of my OCD and that it was no mistake, that door was double locked.

I'm still a little freaked out. I don't think it helps that I keep having dreams about freddy kruger. ah!

Anyways, I figured I'd freak some of my readers out since I was freaked out as well! Happy Thursday!

Happy Monday!

Good morning my fellow bloggers!! I hope you had a great weekend! Mine wasn't anything to brag about but certainly a weekend! I was busy/booked most of the weekend so I didn't quite get to open up all of the windows and clean/organize, but I got the house spotless pretty much within a few hours last night.

Anywho, I'm starting this new thing. I don't want to call it a diet, simply because diets never last. I'm looking at it as more of a mental and body cleanse. I'm basically only eating fruits and veggies & only when I am hungry. I drink large quantities of water & for the most part don't feel hungry at all hardly. SO with that being said, I'll make sure to keep you guys posted on how it goes & share my hints & tips if any of you want to try it out!

I have MUCH to blog about but not much time right now. Work is picking up which is GREAT! I've been given so much responsibility and faith by my boss that I feel fantastic!! o, and the major pay increase doesn't hurt either! (what?! I'd be lying if I didn't say it!) Anywho, the BIGGEST thing going on right now in my personal life is halloween costume shopping. I'm trying to find a balance between cute & sexy. We are going to different parties this year, some adult and some kid friendly, so I'm trying to walk that line. So far, all of the costumes I like are a little risky..but I may just go with those & wear a cape or something over it for the kid friendly one? I don't know.

Okay, off to work. But not before I leave you with a song/video, per my norm!! This one is a little freaky/freaky...but I like it. It doesn't hurt that I think she is a beautiful girl either! Not to mention that are coming here, along with MANY MANY other great artists next Friday & I will be in attendance with back stage passes. w00t! anyways, enjoy!!!

Forget Spring Cleaning...I'll take Autumn Cleaning Anyday!

There is something about the cold air that gets me excited!!! I would like to say I am a very clean, organized person, for the most part. Now in the past few years, I have gotten a little better about my "OCD" habits as many friends have called it, and I'm at the point where it is driving me crazy!

This is one of the many areas that Robert and I completely differ. He grew up moving from place to place, never in the neatest/cleanest places. I, on the other hand, lived my whole life in a small house with my whole family, & when I got to a certain age, clutter and uncleanliness was just NOT allowed. I was doing my own laundry in grade school, had specific rooms I was in charge of cleaning weekly and keeping up with daily. This is the main reason I am the way I am today. While when I was younger, you would have probably heard nothing but complaints coming out of my mouth about my parents being so rigid, but I do nothing but thank them today. I have a structure and system for everything & I like that. It is, to me, the only way to fully function.

Anyways, the cool, crisp weather always invites me to open all of the windows in my house and do a massive clean sweep/reorganization of everything. The Container Store/IKEA/Bed Bath and Beyond/William Sonoma....here I come!!!

On The Verge Of Losing It All...

Not to long ago, I felt like I was on the verge of losing it all. I don't really know where to begin this story. I can only try to figure where it all began. I guess the downhill turn started when I moved back to New Orleans, LA. I tried to find a job for the longest time in Texas with Robert, but was unsuccessful due to the legal economy being in the crapper (along with everything else right?!). We agreed it would be best for me to move back in order for us to stay ahead of our bills. We weren't exactly the most stable while separate. We fought a lot, didn't speak, and to be honest, I thought there were a few times that I would never see him again, by both of our choices. I got a job pretty quickly at a law firm in New Orleans. I had three interviews in one day and I still look back and want to kick myself for taking the offer from the firm that I decided on. It was, as I look back on it now, the WORST mistake I've ever made in my life. I should have went with the other two. One actually paid a lot more, but I was scared to take the chance. So I stuck with the safe route. Boy, was that a bad decision.

I won't go into details about the mental abuse the people at that place put people through, but I will tell you, they are what lead me down the path of self destruction.

I also won't go into full detail about specifics (mainly because I'm still not sure about the action I am taking), but I will say that it was by a pure miracle I was saved. Robert and Raul came in for Robert's birthday weekend and the second I saw him, I knew I needed to leave with him and figure it out as I went along. I abandoned all hope for a normal life without him, it just wasn't going to happen. Robert, I'm pretty sure, knew this as well. He knew he was my saving grace. & if by the hands of God, he became my knight in shinning armor that I had prayed for all alone.

Since that time, I found employment the very next day in Texas. We have never been happier. I have never been happier in my life. I found a part of me I had lost long ago that I feared I would never find again. So now, when I go out to a party or a club, I don't need to go straight for the Jack, I just turn to Robert and I have everything I need. I can have fun completely sober and I'm okay with that. Don't get me wrong, I still DO cut loose and have fun drinking, but it isn't a neccessity to my survival anymore. I have everything I need & that's all I've ever wanted.

Dream Interpretation

Some people try to interpret dreams. I'm not one of those people. I don't really believe that just because you had a dream about fish means you or someone you know is pregnant, or any of that nonsense. BUT I have been realizing lately how much your everyday life and thoughts come into play during your sleep/dreams.

For example, last night I had the most odd dream I've had in a while. It was a lot of random stuff mixed together that all links back to either conversations or thoughts I have had in the past few days.

I had a dream I was walking through my grandparents backyard and noticed my dad was building, or should I say rebuilding, a deck that my Papa had built when we were younger. My dad said he was making improvements to add in a pool for my grandma (because Ghea can totally get around that well? ha). Anyways, this thought I'm sure came from the fact that I logged on yesterday and noticed I had a new follower (a shout out to the very talented carpenter/hunky handyman Thad). I checked out his page and saw some of his great work. It reminded me of my grandpa and all of his great stories he had from building houses, then I remembered the deck he built in their backyard so us kiddos had something to play on. & of course, my dad was involved because he learned from the best. Even though my Papa was my mom's dad, he took my dad under his wing like he was his own son.

I walked inside my grandparent's house after talking to my dad and notice dirt tracks all over their white carpet. This probably came from me thinking about purchasing Buster shoes to wear outside so he would stop tracking in dirt from outside when he plays in the rain. After entering the living room I notice an odd looking dog. It has a small head, a regular body, and tiny, short legs. This, I assume, came from me seeing a friend's dog for the first time and noticing how small its head was when compared to the rest of his body. Then, the friend mentioned that our dog, Buster, wasn't really fat, just really tall and had tiny legs so he looked fatter than he is.

After petting the odd looking dog, I heard scary music. I turned around to see Vincent Price walking through the front door. I started screaming in horror. He scares the crap out of me. I'm thinking this came from me thinking about doing haunted houses this year. As I turned to run away he kept chasing after me. I kept saying "I'm going to be late for work, I'm going to be late for work!" I looked at my dream clock and it was 9:30 a.m. Crap, I was late!

I suddenly woke up to realize it was only 4:30 in the morning, I was not late, and all of that crazy randomness was, in fact, a dream.

& to answer your question before you ask, I don't do drugs and I haven't drank in forever. so I have no idea what happened there!