I have prided myself on being able to take on any challenge, do anything, save the world! It wasn't until recently, that I realized, maybe I can't?
Is it possible for one person to manage everything in their life along with everything for the people surrounding them? I used to be convinced that the answer to this self-inflicted question was yes, but after the past week or so, I think I may have to disagree with my earlier self.
At some point in my life, I became the push over. I swore to myself that would never happen. I saw that hubby was that way (before we were married of course). He couldn't say no to anyone. People saw that weakness and pounced to take advantage of him left and right. I was there to be the hard one, the bitch if you will, but the one to keep him from getting drug through the dirt. Then over the years, I became more lax with my strictness. I began letting people "take advantage" of me, to some extent at least. Things were easier to just do myself rather than explaining. I got so wrapped up in everything being perfect and in order, that I figured I'd just take on the tasks myself so no one could possibly mess them up.
This seemed to be going great for me. That was until last week when I realized, everyone panics when I am not around. What if the phone were to ring and no one knew how to fix it? What if someone got locked out of their computer because their password wouldn't work, & they couldn't figure out to take the caps lock off? What if they sat in a dark office thinking the lights were out, because no one was there to tell them to flip the switch? What if there were no clean clothes left? What if there were no clean dishes?
I realize at this point and I am everyone's, for lack of better term, bitch. I have made myself so available to assist with other people's needs that I am the pee on. I am now my hubby back in the day. I have been taken advantage of beyond disbelief.
So, what am I going to do you ask? Well, it is very simple, I'm going to stop. I'm going to start saying no. I'm not going to go somewhere if I don't want to go just to please that person. I'm not going to wash someone's dish that they leave lying around because they think the magic fairy takes care of it. I'm not going to do it anymore. There comes a point and time when someone hits their breaking point. They can either accept it and keep up with their pattern and eventually explode, or do something about it before it causes problems. I'm sticking with the latter.
Now, this all reminds me of a song from back in the day, Krystal Harris sang it best when she said "I'm supergirl and I'm here to save the world, but I want to know who's going to save me?"